Pork and Beans

Weezer - Pork And Beans Lyrics

 -from metrolyrics.com

They say I need some Rogaine to put in my hair

Work it out at the gym to fit my underwear

Oakley makes the shades that transform a tool

You'd hate for the kids to think that you lost your cool

I'ma do the things that I wanna do

I ain't got a thing to prove to you

I eat my candy with the pork and beans

Excuse my manners if I make a scene

I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you'll like

I'm fine and dandy with the me inside

One look in the mirror and I'm tickled pink

I don't give a hoot about what you think

Everyone likes to dance to a happy song

With a catchy chorus and beat so they can sing along

Timbaland knows the way to reach the top of the chart

Maybe if I work with him I can perfect the art

I'ma do the things that I wanna do

I ain't got a thing to prove to you

I eat my candy with the pork and beans

Excuse my manners if I make a scene

I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you'll like

I'm fine and dandy with the me inside

One look in the mirror and I'm tickled pink

I don't give a hoot about what you think

I don't care

I don't care

I don't care, I don't care, I don't care

I don't care

I'ma do the things that I wanna do

I ain't got a thing to prove to you

I eat my candy with the pork and beans

Excuse my manners if I make a scene

I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you'll like

I'm fine and dandy with the me inside

One look in the mirror and I'm tickled pink

I don't give a hoot about what you think

“Pork and Beans” by Weezer is one of my favorite and most self-validating songs.  The lyrics shout to me affirmations of self.  I frequently have this song playing in the background when my students are participating in discussions, doing independent work, or playing games.  Many times we folks on the Spectrum wrestle with expectations to conform.  The unwritten rules of society mandate that we don’t rock the boat, that we follow the crowd, and that we are like everyone else.  Therefore, we strive to comply.  However, simultaneously, we passionately hunger to be ourselves.   Contrary to the precedents of the conventional social atmosphere, that means being unique and different.    

I see it every day, every which way I turn, in every place I go.  I see it at the grocery store, restaurants, malls, and I absolutely see it in the teenagers I work with.    I watch my students yearn to be like their peers.  They choose to dress like them, and aspire to do the things their friends do, but only because they have been led to believe that they SHOULD.    They create an artificial identity because they are without the perception that they are unique and wonderful as-is.  

We harbor our weirdness and oddities behind a façade of “normalcy” to the best of our abilities.   We suppress our compulsions to squeal and flap and rock.  We refrain from using our cartoon voices.  We hold back our opinions and ideas on the grounds that they might be viewed as strange.   We dress to be like others even though it is exceptionally uncomfortable and awkward.  We circumvent situations in which we could excel because we don’t “fit in” to societal expectations.     We don’t want to be perceived as being different or peculiar, so we hide. 

For the longest time, that was “me”.   I yearned to be like others, because that was what society mandated.  I joined clubs and sports that I didn’t enjoy in the interest of complying with the rules.  I censored my own voice.   As a result of my substantial efforts to fit in and my ultimate failure in doing so, I misplaced my self-worth, my tenacity was extinguished, and I asphyxiated my uniqueness.  

It wasn’t until later in life that I came to comprehend that some rules infringed upon us are meant to be broken.   I began to break out and be myself, realizing that I was the only one who could judge me, against society or against myself.  What others think of me is insignificant, as long as I am fulfilled by my choices and content with my character, and as long as I abide by my deepest morals, values, and beliefs.  All of the other clutter and chaos in life is superficial.  My hairstyle might be an expression of my personality, but it doesn’t DEFINE me.   The same with my clothes, the music I listen to, the food I eat, the car I drive, and the house I live in.  

I will acknowledge the unwritten rules of society, for the most part.  I am not stating that I am a rebel of any sorts.   I enjoy living by the rules just as much as the next Autie or Aspie, and more so than the average Neurotypical.  But I will not compromise myself to please others.  After all, “I’m fine and dandy with the me inside.”